I've been thinking a lot about friendships and relationships a lot these past few days. Over the course of my life I've had many friendships and of course the relationships of family. Our family was like many that our parents marriage ended in divorce and the blended families began. We children were separated by the separation of our parents and at some point we grew up in different homes and that feeling of closeness between siblings seemed to grow dimmer by the year. Holidays always make that sense of loss seem staggering for me. It leaves an ache in the heart that nothing seems to cure.
Sometimes in fact, I almost feel like giving up. You know the old saying "well the road runs both ways" or "the phone lines work both ways" even creeps in and my mind says "well they can call me this time" or " I called them last let them take the initiative". Life doesn't always work that way. In fact it can leave you pretty lonely and low feeling.
These past few days I've sat patiently waiting to hear the phone ring from ones I love and that ring just didn't happen. I realize now I have a choice. Do I just sit and wait for that call or do I take the initiative and call. Is my pride worth not hearing that loved one's voice or that precious friend's voice on the other end? I realize that friendships and relationships that are dear to me are worth dropping the pride and making the call. Even if I am always the one to make the call or send the letter or make the visit. Each person that I love and care for is worth every ounce I put into a relationship. Sure it hurts sometimes but is the alternative any better? If I give up what do I have then? I'd have nothing. I'd miss out on hearing that voice or seeing that smile and getting that so longed for hug and time spent with them.
I guess in a way it's just like our relationship with God. He sits and waits patiently for us. Sure we tell him we love him and we claim him as our Lord but do we truly let him know how much we love him? Do we run to him or call on him in prayer or just sit quietly with him in his presence? I know I fail miserably all too often but God loves me enough to forgive me and comes to me and reminds me in that still small voice that I am not alone, that he will never leave me or forsake me. Even though I walk away and I neglect that relationship he is still there waiting patiently in line.
So, in the likeness of my Heavenly Father I will love enough and continue to make the effort even if others don't reciprocate, and let them know I love them, I care for them, and I miss them. I'll tell them they are important to me in my actions and in the end I'll know
I've
loved
Enough.
