Loving Enough

I've been thinking a lot about friendships and relationships a lot these past few days. Over the course of my life I've had many friendships and of course the relationships of family. Our family was like many that our parents marriage ended in divorce and the blended families began. We children were separated by the separation of our parents and at some point we grew up in different homes and that feeling of closeness between siblings seemed to grow dimmer by the year. Holidays always make that sense of loss seem staggering for me. It leaves an ache in the heart that nothing seems to cure.

Sometimes in fact, I almost feel like giving up. You know the old saying "well the road runs both ways" or "the phone lines work both ways" even creeps in and my mind says "well they can call me this time" or  " I called them last let them take the initiative". Life doesn't always work that way. In fact it can leave you pretty lonely and low feeling. 

These past few days I've sat patiently waiting to hear the phone ring from ones I love and that ring just didn't happen. I realize now  I have a choice. Do I just sit and wait for that call or do I take the initiative and call. Is my pride worth not hearing that loved one's voice or that precious friend's voice on the other end?  I realize that friendships and relationships that are dear to me are worth dropping the pride and making the call. Even if I am always the one to make the call or send the letter or make the visit. Each person that I love and care for is worth every ounce I put into a relationship. Sure it hurts sometimes but is the alternative any better? If I give up what do I have then? I'd have nothing. I'd miss out on hearing that voice or seeing that smile and getting that so longed for hug and time spent with them.

I guess in a way it's just like our relationship with God. He sits and waits patiently for us. Sure we tell him we love him and we claim him as our Lord but do we truly let him know how much we love him? Do we run to him or call on him in prayer or just sit quietly with him in his presence?  I know I fail miserably all too often but God loves me enough to forgive me and comes to me and reminds me in that still small voice that I am not alone, that he will never leave me or forsake me. Even though I walk away and I neglect that relationship he is still there waiting patiently in line.

So, in the likeness of my Heavenly Father I will love enough and continue to make the effort even if others don't reciprocate, and  let them know I love them, I care for them, and I miss them.  I'll tell them they are important to me in my actions and in the end I'll know

 I've

 loved 

Enough. 

Missed Opportunities

The last two weeks have caused to me re evaluate the way I look at  the opportunities I've had and clearly missed. I've visited a family member and instead of finding the vibrant woman she once was I found a tiny framed woman with a blank stare because of the disease Alzheimer's. I've asked myself many times since that day 2 weeks ago "Why did I wait so long? Why didn't I push for more information as to where she was?" Now, tonight  instead of having another opportunity to visit her and chatting about days past I will visit a funeral home.  I can't get that time back.  I messed up and will live with that the rest of my life.

On Saturday I visited two friends. Before leaving home I  printed out a couple of sunflower photos and framed them to carry one to each of them.  My first stop was to visit my friend Steve. This man lay in his bed with a sweet smile on his face that only that wonderful peace of God can provide. He's dying and he knows it. His body has been ravaged by a neuromuscular disease. Last week he made the choice to stop all tube feedings etc and asked to be allowed to go on to better things. I wondered if he's ever thought of missed opportunities prior to landing in that wheelchair for the last 5-10 years. Yet, I know from watching him over the years that he didn't miss opportunities to share his infectious smile and wonderful attitude on life. He took every opportunity he had to make someone's day. It made me ashamed of myself and the time I've wasted and the opportunities I've let slip away. Especially, the times I meant to visit him and never got around to. Sure, I'd stop in at the market to talk with him but I didn't make time to visit him.  I left him that day with a kiss on the forehead and an I love you Steve and an ache in my heart because I knew I'd missed so many opportunities to let him know I really cared.

Later,  I drove to the next little town to visit my friend Judy. She's been in the hospital for a couple weeks but I told myself I'll get there and I never did. When I walked in the room I found a woman that really didn't look like my friend has in years.  Instead, I could see she found it hard to breathe, her face was swollen, the sparkle in her eyes was gone, and I don't know if it will ever return. Our time together was good and I was so glad I had put all other things aside to pick her some sunflowers and go visit  her.

Since those three visits ,I've pondered in my heart and mind all of those missed opportunities. It's also made me look at my life and re evaluate the way I spend my time and the things that I've placed too much value on.  What about you? Are you missing opportunities? Is there someone you know that needs a visit, a phone call, or just a card in the mail? Let us each purpose in our hearts and minds to never miss an opportunity again.

The Simple Things in Life

I've been busy lately working on my photography skills and realizing that still the best things in life are the most simple things. Nothing makes me happier than a simple bouquet of flowers from the garden, a solitary rose, a ride in the country, the fresh smell of honeysuckle, and sunshine glistening thru the trees.  This past week I bought the old chair from a former student for $5.00. What a sweet little chair. The lace doily was a gift from my dear friend Cindee. I treasure such sweet things in life!

His Eye is on the Sparrow

This week even though it's been freezing cold one day and rainy the next, I've totally enjoyed myself. I"ve been stalking.... birds that it is. Just outside the window is a tree and I've placed a couple feeders on the lower branches.

It's amazing what peace has flooded my soul while watching these creatures. I'm reminded of the song His Eye is on the Sparrow as I watch them and I've found myself humming that tune in my head over and over. Amazingly I've not captured a sparrow as of yet!

Selah is one of my favorite groups and I think they do the best with this song. Enjoy!

Simply JOY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOm2mMusqUw

I am nothing

We woke up to a very foggy morning yesterday. Last week I had a photo assignment entitled "nothing"  but had never found that perfect image to capture of just well, nothing! However, as I drove into the fog  yesterday morning there it was - nothing. While editing the image this morning it reminded me that I am nothing without God. My life has no meaning without him. If I hurry into the day without Him well I can expect to have nothing great to happen. If I go to Him when starting my day I can expect more than nothing because He gives me everything.

I am Nothing

A new find

I've not blogged in months and months but recently I've found a blogger whose posts I look forward to each day. http://carladyck.blogspot.com/ is awesome! Her talent and ability to capture the every day just blow me away. She inspires me to go out and attempt to capture the beauty around me. I'm not only inspired but her posts teach me about the art of photography. Thanks Carla for sharing with us each day and for inspiring me to find the simple joys of life each day and draw closer to my maker. So, while I bombed at blogging before I'm setting out on a new course to photograph something every day and blog about it.

Golden

I walked out in the garden this morning and everything just glistened in the sun. Hershey, our neighbor's dog came along for the walk . She chased a chipmunk which I didn't know we had so I'll be staking him out now that I know where his little home  is!
Of all the flowers I walked by,  this baby golden sunflower caught my interest again today. It's such a tiny little thing, not much bigger than a silver dollar.  I added a vignette in Lightroom. My first attempt at presets! Other than that and a crop, it's SOOC.