Loving Enough

I've been thinking a lot about friendships and relationships a lot these past few days. Over the course of my life I've had many friendships and of course the relationships of family. Our family was like many that our parents marriage ended in divorce and the blended families began. We children were separated by the separation of our parents and at some point we grew up in different homes and that feeling of closeness between siblings seemed to grow dimmer by the year. Holidays always make that sense of loss seem staggering for me. It leaves an ache in the heart that nothing seems to cure.

Sometimes in fact, I almost feel like giving up. You know the old saying "well the road runs both ways" or "the phone lines work both ways" even creeps in and my mind says "well they can call me this time" or  " I called them last let them take the initiative". Life doesn't always work that way. In fact it can leave you pretty lonely and low feeling. 

These past few days I've sat patiently waiting to hear the phone ring from ones I love and that ring just didn't happen. I realize now  I have a choice. Do I just sit and wait for that call or do I take the initiative and call. Is my pride worth not hearing that loved one's voice or that precious friend's voice on the other end?  I realize that friendships and relationships that are dear to me are worth dropping the pride and making the call. Even if I am always the one to make the call or send the letter or make the visit. Each person that I love and care for is worth every ounce I put into a relationship. Sure it hurts sometimes but is the alternative any better? If I give up what do I have then? I'd have nothing. I'd miss out on hearing that voice or seeing that smile and getting that so longed for hug and time spent with them.

I guess in a way it's just like our relationship with God. He sits and waits patiently for us. Sure we tell him we love him and we claim him as our Lord but do we truly let him know how much we love him? Do we run to him or call on him in prayer or just sit quietly with him in his presence?  I know I fail miserably all too often but God loves me enough to forgive me and comes to me and reminds me in that still small voice that I am not alone, that he will never leave me or forsake me. Even though I walk away and I neglect that relationship he is still there waiting patiently in line.

So, in the likeness of my Heavenly Father I will love enough and continue to make the effort even if others don't reciprocate, and  let them know I love them, I care for them, and I miss them.  I'll tell them they are important to me in my actions and in the end I'll know

 I've

 loved 

Enough. 

Missed Opportunities

The last two weeks have caused to me re evaluate the way I look at  the opportunities I've had and clearly missed. I've visited a family member and instead of finding the vibrant woman she once was I found a tiny framed woman with a blank stare because of the disease Alzheimer's. I've asked myself many times since that day 2 weeks ago "Why did I wait so long? Why didn't I push for more information as to where she was?" Now, tonight  instead of having another opportunity to visit her and chatting about days past I will visit a funeral home.  I can't get that time back.  I messed up and will live with that the rest of my life.

On Saturday I visited two friends. Before leaving home I  printed out a couple of sunflower photos and framed them to carry one to each of them.  My first stop was to visit my friend Steve. This man lay in his bed with a sweet smile on his face that only that wonderful peace of God can provide. He's dying and he knows it. His body has been ravaged by a neuromuscular disease. Last week he made the choice to stop all tube feedings etc and asked to be allowed to go on to better things. I wondered if he's ever thought of missed opportunities prior to landing in that wheelchair for the last 5-10 years. Yet, I know from watching him over the years that he didn't miss opportunities to share his infectious smile and wonderful attitude on life. He took every opportunity he had to make someone's day. It made me ashamed of myself and the time I've wasted and the opportunities I've let slip away. Especially, the times I meant to visit him and never got around to. Sure, I'd stop in at the market to talk with him but I didn't make time to visit him.  I left him that day with a kiss on the forehead and an I love you Steve and an ache in my heart because I knew I'd missed so many opportunities to let him know I really cared.

Later,  I drove to the next little town to visit my friend Judy. She's been in the hospital for a couple weeks but I told myself I'll get there and I never did. When I walked in the room I found a woman that really didn't look like my friend has in years.  Instead, I could see she found it hard to breathe, her face was swollen, the sparkle in her eyes was gone, and I don't know if it will ever return. Our time together was good and I was so glad I had put all other things aside to pick her some sunflowers and go visit  her.

Since those three visits ,I've pondered in my heart and mind all of those missed opportunities. It's also made me look at my life and re evaluate the way I spend my time and the things that I've placed too much value on.  What about you? Are you missing opportunities? Is there someone you know that needs a visit, a phone call, or just a card in the mail? Let us each purpose in our hearts and minds to never miss an opportunity again.

The Simple Things in Life

I've been busy lately working on my photography skills and realizing that still the best things in life are the most simple things. Nothing makes me happier than a simple bouquet of flowers from the garden, a solitary rose, a ride in the country, the fresh smell of honeysuckle, and sunshine glistening thru the trees.  This past week I bought the old chair from a former student for $5.00. What a sweet little chair. The lace doily was a gift from my dear friend Cindee. I treasure such sweet things in life!

His Eye is on the Sparrow

This week even though it's been freezing cold one day and rainy the next, I've totally enjoyed myself. I"ve been stalking.... birds that it is. Just outside the window is a tree and I've placed a couple feeders on the lower branches.

It's amazing what peace has flooded my soul while watching these creatures. I'm reminded of the song His Eye is on the Sparrow as I watch them and I've found myself humming that tune in my head over and over. Amazingly I've not captured a sparrow as of yet!

Selah is one of my favorite groups and I think they do the best with this song. Enjoy!

Simply JOY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOm2mMusqUw

I am nothing

We woke up to a very foggy morning yesterday. Last week I had a photo assignment entitled "nothing"  but had never found that perfect image to capture of just well, nothing! However, as I drove into the fog  yesterday morning there it was - nothing. While editing the image this morning it reminded me that I am nothing without God. My life has no meaning without him. If I hurry into the day without Him well I can expect to have nothing great to happen. If I go to Him when starting my day I can expect more than nothing because He gives me everything.

I am Nothing

A new find

I've not blogged in months and months but recently I've found a blogger whose posts I look forward to each day. http://carladyck.blogspot.com/ is awesome! Her talent and ability to capture the every day just blow me away. She inspires me to go out and attempt to capture the beauty around me. I'm not only inspired but her posts teach me about the art of photography. Thanks Carla for sharing with us each day and for inspiring me to find the simple joys of life each day and draw closer to my maker. So, while I bombed at blogging before I'm setting out on a new course to photograph something every day and blog about it.

Golden

I walked out in the garden this morning and everything just glistened in the sun. Hershey, our neighbor's dog came along for the walk . She chased a chipmunk which I didn't know we had so I'll be staking him out now that I know where his little home  is!
Of all the flowers I walked by,  this baby golden sunflower caught my interest again today. It's such a tiny little thing, not much bigger than a silver dollar.  I added a vignette in Lightroom. My first attempt at presets! Other than that and a crop, it's SOOC.

Macro Monday

I'm trying my hand at macro shots these days. These are all only cropped. No editing yet. Still learning how to do that! I hope you enjoy a glimpse into my floral world.  Have a great Monday!

Wonderful Rain

Other than a storm here and there I cannot remember a day when it just rained most of the day. We've had a wonderful steady rain most the day and the temps were even lower which makes even better! Once it stopped I was anxious to get out and see my flower beds. Most of them are drooped to the ground with all of the rain but I found this Tropicana Rose covered in rain drops. I'm still learning to use Photoshop Elements so there's really not much editing done to this one.

Kitty

Sometimes, even though we think we are doing what is right Mother Nature knows best. I think animals have a keen sense in knowing if their offspring will survive or not. Perhaps that is why the mama cat left the little black kitten a few days ago. At least I can say I gave it a second shot. Little black kitty died this morning. I feel sad but know I did try to help it out.

Kittens

I'll admit I'm a sucker when it comes to motherless kittens. For the second time this year I'm back to round the clock feedings of a newborn kitten. That's in spite of the fact the first one is still here and I really don't want a cat in the house!  When DH decided it needed my attention yesterday, he brought it inside ( of course it was over 100 degrees outside!). How could I say no? The  nurse and mama in me just can't let it lay there and die.

Pink Starburst

I posted the pink mandevilla yesterday. By this afternoon one of the blossoms had begun to open.  It probably won't last long because it is 100 degrees here this afternoon and this heat is supposed to continue and even get hotter tomorrow.

Pink

The pink mandevilla I have growing out back is such a beautiful plant. Each blossom has so many stages. I look forward to watching each one open fully and to gaze down into the center of the bloom to see the star burst that awaits me. Maybe tomorrow these will have opened!

Daisies

I just love daisies! Any daisy will do but, Shasta Daisies are so dainty. I love having them in my yard and esp in a vase. Of all the flowers I grow I think it's sad they have such a short blooming season. I'm hoping for a second blooming  phase this summer.

Orchids

Last year while visiting Thailand, I met a delightful elderly gentleman from Belgium. The small inn we were staying at had orchids growing everywhere. So while he and I both waited for our rides he educated me on orchids.  This was his 35th annual visit to Thailand.  Each year, he'd gone there to purchase orchids to take home and sell in his floral shop. Now, too old to run the business he was visiting the island to enjoy the many species that grow there.  I so enjoyed the hour we spent together and to this day I regret not asking him for his email or at least address. He was a wealth of information!

After that brief encounter, I came home infatuated with orchids and decided I must try my hand at growing them. After several trips to floral shops I realized they were out of my league. Then I visited Lowe's and found several on the discount rack for $2.50! I brought them home and much to my dismay I was a failure at growing them. That is until a dear friend said "Oh, don't throw them away! Put them in an eastern window, water them when dry and wait!". I did exactly as she said and here is my result!

Lost and Found

   When I was about 14 my daddy gave me my first Bible.  Bound in beautiful red leather, it glistened as I opened it that Christmas morning.  I used that Bible until I lost it over 20 years ago. After searching for months and shedding many tears I gave up and just knew it had fallen in a crack and was gone with the old green Ford we'd sold that year. Over the years I've often thought of my little red Bible and wished I could hold it and read it one more time.
   This past Saturday, my friend Judi, emailed me to say she'd found a Bible with my maiden name in it and just knew no one else would have the same name. I was overcome with emotion, which is nothing unusual for me when it comes to sentimentality!  On Sunday, she drove to my house  and hand delivered my bright red Bible to me. I opened the pages to find  my name written by my daddy. It glistened just as brightly as it did that Christmas morning over 40 years ago. The verses I'd underlined as a teen  are still some of my favorite verses. As I read those pages  I couldn't help but hear these words .
Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found.

 

Another Joy!

Our children  all came home last week and boy was it a busy week! We not only got to see everyone but had an unexpected wedding! Our oldest son and his fiance decided that since everyone was in the states now was the time to tie the knot. It was such a great day.They wanted a very simple wedding with no fluff or attention to detail. So, off we went to Chincoteague Island and they married on the beautiful beach of Assateague . Our family and her parents witnessed the union of their two hearts as our son-in-law performed the ceremony.
Her name is Joy and she is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. I'm sure my dad would love her and her name!  We love her and can see how she makes our son happy.
Welcome to our family Joy!

Treasures

When you think of treasures what comes to mind? I think treasures can mean different things to each of us. One might have a box of jewelry or gems from a loved one that they treasure.  A  piece of furniture that belonged to someone in our lives may hold a special place in our hearts. I have lots of treasures like dishes that remind me of my grandmother Ruth and her Bible that is taped with duct tape to hold it together.  A purple rock sits in my jewelry box. It is a treasure to me because someone gave it to me to remind of where I'd been and where I was going when I was going thru a very dark time in my life.  There is a box under my bed. It is filled with cards from my children, husband,  family and friends  throughout the years. I have a red chair that belonged to my mother-in-law that I love to sit in to read and crochet or knit. When I want solitude I often sit in that chair and just be still.

This morning as I began my time of Bible reading I stumbled upon a very special and new treasure. As I began my daily Bible reading, I wanted a different translation so I went to my bookcase and pulled out the Bible that belonged to my father.  Just holding that Bible with it's worn and tattered cover and pages filled with highlights and notes  filled me with emotion.. Tears flowed down my face as I opened those pages. As I scanned thru it  I came across a note I will treasure until  the day I die. My father had underlined Philippians 1:3 that says " I thank God every time I remember you" and beside it he'd written Carolyn Joy.  An arrow was drawn from my name to the top of the page with Psalm 37:3 written there. I scanned back to that verse to find "Trust in the Lord and do good" underlined. 

What a treasure to find that my earthly father loved me so much he'd written my name along side words written to me from my Heavenly Father!

JOY

Simply JOY is the beginning of what I hope to be a written and photographic journal of my daily life as a wife, mother, Nana, and most importantly daughter of Jesus Christ. My name is Carolyn Joy but most friends just call me by my nickname of many years, "Muffin". Somewhere along the way I had an identity crisis! If I could change back, I'd go with simply, Joy. My dad loved my middle name. He always loved telling me  what it stood for. "Jesus Others You". He said that if I lived my life in that order I'd always be happy and at night I could lay my head down in peace. I think he was right. It's not always easy to live that way. In fact, it can sometimes be down right hard. It is my goal in life however, to honor Christ in all I do and to put him first.

For thirty three years I've been married to the most precious man. He is my best friend and soul mate. I believe his a true gift from God. Our three children are now  grown and on their own.  Two have families and live far from southeast Virginia. The youngest lives just a few miles from us. We are blessed with two beautiful granddaughters and a new grandson. Although they all live hundreds of  miles and even oceans/continents away they are the highlight of our lives. Just to hear those sweet voices or see their precious smiles makes even the darkest of days brighter.

 I'm totally ADHD!  Sometimes, my focus doesn't last long and I'll  bounce from one thing to the other. It's a characteristic that I'm sure drives my hubby nuts.  Aside from loving photography, I also enjoy crocheting, loom knitting, reading, cooking and when it's warm I like to ride my motorcycle. I enjoy my  life and hope you will come along with me as I journey through it as simply Joy.